VolCAno DusT (volcanodust) wrote in bisexualworld,
VolCAno DusT

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Coming out of the closet....? ? .... or not..... ?? Hmmmmm

It's kinda scary to think about telling some of my friends that I'm bi because
a)I wonder how it will impact the way they think of me as a whole
b)I'm afraid they'll think that I have been/will be/could be attracted to them
c)They may feel as though I've been lying to them this whole time
or d)Maybe they'll be hurt that I hadn't told them up until now.

Kinda whacky isn't it. I mean, you have this identity... right? ...and then you're just gonna go switch it up on people? For what purpose.... so I have peace of mind? I think to myself "I could still have peace of mind and accept myself without telling my close friends." but then, you see, I am not able to really "be myself" with them because there is this major part of me that I'm shadowing out... and if I really accept myself than why am I shadowing it out? ????

So many questions pertaining to this. And I'm still sober. Praise God for that!!!
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I competely understand how you feel.I am going through the same thing. I want my friends to know but then I fear how they would react.

yeah, I'm going through exactly what you're going through. I want to say things to my friends about it, but i'm quite apprehensive.
A good way to tell is how open/accepting they are in general. Mine are all very much so, so I wasn't too worried about telling them; but still had some hesitation about it. Each one went fine, the only problems have been with my parents, who aren't as open as my friends are. As for feeling them out... I've always been horrible at doing that, but there's always bringing up some relevant news article, or various other things.

If they're a good friend, or in my opinion if they're a friend at all, it won't really affect how they see you. A friend of mine commented once about how she generally forgot about it, but then sometimes would go think "Oh yeah, she's bi!". Not offensive to me at all -straight is the (perceived) norm. I guess, in a way, you can look at it from your own perspective. Would you see a bisexual friend differently from a straight one? For myself, yes -there's more of a connection with the bisexual one- but it's not a bad difference at all.

As for wondering if they'll worry if you're attracted to them or might be... I've worried about the same thing. I've never asked them about it, but I always got the impression it never crossed their minds. As for the last two... I haven't even encountered that or, to my knowledge, known someone who has, so don't know what to say. It's possible, but even if that does occur, they should be able to work through it.
I was going to put my own little long reply, but decided against it, because tundrawolven said everything that I would have said and more. I'm going through the exact situation but i'm already understanding that I should just tell them and get it over with, if they don't accept me for who I am and treat me differently, then i'll just move on and find some more mature, open minded friends. I've actually told two of my friends already and they don't mind at all, they joke with me about it but in a completely friendly way and I find myself even more compfortable around them because I told them. So go for it when your ready and what happens happens.

Now, I don't know when i'll be ready to tell my mom and the rest of my family, I know I will tell them, I just don't know when, that'll be one of the hardest things I do but i'm sure when I do, i'll be ready.

c)They may feel as though I've been lying to them this whole time
or d)Maybe they'll be hurt that I hadn't told them up until now.

Well, I personally doubt that your friends would feel that way, but if they did, remind them and tell them to put themeselves in your position, would they feel open and brave enough to tell all there friends so soon? I doubt it, so they should understand.